“Our Members Didn’t Vandalize Buhari’s Office” – Rat Association Of Nigeria Kicks Against Allegations

BROKEN NEWS!
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“Our members didn’t vandalize Buhari’s office” – Rat Association of Nigeria kicks.

Rats Association of Nigeria (RAN) has refuted the Presidency’s Allegation of Vandalism against their Members.

Reacting to the allegation, the National chairman Rats Association of Nigeria (RAN) Comrade Ntapia O. Ntapia said “We respect protocols, our members don’t cross National Red Lines. We are peaceful and law-abiding citizens as we are found in every home across the country. We therefore urge the general public and good people of Nigeria to please disregard the ridiculous and baseless allegation”

In a telephone chat with the Aso Rock coordinator of the Association Chief Tụfịakwa Kpokokpo, who also debunked the accusation as false and laughable, warned the Buhari’s administration to desist from instigating Nigerians against them.

“You could recall that sometimes last year, this same administration accused us of spreading Lassa fever in some parts of the country which later turned to be false after mass killing of our members. Now they have come again with another bunkum. We are fully aware that Buhari is doing everything possible to ruthlessly annihilate and exterminate us, but he will fail” he said.

JokeSource : OgasHub

 

Just 4 Laughs!! Top Funny Nigerian Quotes on Facebook (WATCH VIDEO)

Just 4 Laughs!! Top Funny Nigerian Quotes on Facebook (WATCH VIDEO)

Did you know that the laughing often can lengthen your lifespan?! So, if you are in a bad mood or your day was not the perfect one, we have a good solution for such a situation. Read on to find out funny Nigerian quotes for Facebook that will make your friends and laugh.

funny facebook quotes

Nigerian social websites

Nowadays, we live in a world where everything be found on the Internet. People use it for almost everything in their lives. For example, they listen to music, searching for new photos, read the news, watch different videos, buy and sell things, offer some services, and of course communicate with each other.

funny facebook quotes

So, when it comes to communication, there are a lot of social websites (such as Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, Instagram, etc.) which are free all over the world.

Facebook is the most popular social website in Nigeria. There people can share different pictures and information with each other. As a rule, everyone who has a profile can add photos, and post different quotes and statuses.

Nigerian funny quotes for Facebook

As it was mentioned above, nowadays, it is very popular to use statuses on Facebook to describe your mood and maybe announce an event in your life. For example, Nigerian people have a good sense of humor. That is why we are going to look through some funny and interesting statuses. Here they are:

– I’m not short. I’m fun-sized! –

– I am the perfect version of me. –

– What?! I’m not small! It’s the world that’s too big! –

– I’m pretty sure my prayers go directly to God’s spam folder. –

– I love myself more than I love you. –

funny facebook quotes

– I’m not 40, I’m eighteen with 22 years experience… –

– I am not lazy, I just rest before I get tired. –

– If there is no chocolate in heaven…”I AM NOT GOING”. –

– If people have a problem with u, always remember, it is THEIR problem. –

– When you really want to slap someone, do it and say – mosquito. –

The list of 10 funny Nigerian quotes for Facebook

All in all, there is a big amount of funny Nigerian quotes for Facebook, but we prepared the list of the best ones.

#1 – I’m the perfect housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I always keep the house from the marriage.

#2 – God made everything that has life, everything else is made in China.

#3 – Of course if the whole world was ruled by women, there would not be any wars. Because it will be just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.

#4 – You know, it is rather funny to call my iPod “Titanic” so when I hear “Syncing Titanic”, I just press “cancel”, and it always makes me feel like a real hero.

#5 – Whenever I have a problem, I just sing, Then I realize my voice is worse than my problem.

#6 – My iPhone seems to be broken because I pressed “home” and I’m still not there.

#7 – All my life I used to think that the air is free until I bought a bag of chips.

#8 – I’ve been using Google for 10 years, and I have no idea who uses the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.

#9 – One day a little boy put a specific question to his father, “Daddy, tell me please, how much does it cost to get married?” And the father answered, “Actually, I don’t know because I’m still paying for that.”

funny facebook quotes

#10 – Dear Google, PLEASE, stop behaving like a GIRL. Just let me complete the whole sentence before you start guessing and suggesting something.

So, as you can see, while time goes so fast, but people always come up with something new. As for such a social network as Facebook, we should point out that it also has updates all the time. But, if you need to change your status there, or you just want to get out of a bad mood, you can find something for you from the list of the top popular quotes and statuses in Nigeria.

Just 4 Laughs!! Check out these hilarious tweets as Judas Iscariot trends on Twitter (Pics)

Today is Good Friday, and according to the Bible, Judas Iscariot betrayed Jesus Christ on this day, 2000 years ago.

Twitter Naija in their usual way have made hilarious memes and tweets to mark the day.

Continue to see more after the cut….

 

 

 

 

 

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‘I have HIV’ – Checkout the level this guy took the April fool prank that sent his lady into ‘literal’ coma

Here is the conversation between a Nigerian man and his girlfriend whom he pranked using a dreaded disease.

The guy identified as Drey sent his GF a message telling her that he was HIV  positive, asked for her forgiveness and urged her to check her status.

Very scary. Continue after the cut

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wait, Did I just see her type ‘We’ll fix it’ even after he told her?

True love still exist.

Lol! See hilarious definitions to everyday words that will crack you up

funny laugh

So I saw this on Facebook and decided to share.

CIGARETTE: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other.

MARRIAGE: It is an agreement where a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master’s degree.

DIVORCE: Future tense of Marriage.

LECTURE: An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either of them.

Continue after the cut

CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

COMPROMISE: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he or she got the biggest piece.

DICTIONARY: A place where divorce comes before marriage.

CONFERENCE ROOM: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

ECSTASY: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

CLASSIC: A book which people praise, but never read.

SMILE: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

OFFICE: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

YAWN: The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth.

ETC: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

COMMITTEE: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

EXPERIENCE: The name men give to their Mistakes.

ATOMIC BOMB: An invention to bring an end to all inventions.

PHILOSOPHER: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of, when dead.

DIPLOMAT: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

OPPORTUNIST: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

OPTIMIST: A person who while falling from OLUMO ROCK says midway, “SEE, I AM NOT INJURED YET”.

PESSIMIST: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY.

MISER: A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH.

FATHER: A banker provided by nature.

CRIMINAL: A guy not different from the other, unless he gets caught.

BOSS: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

POLITICIAN: Someone who shakes your hand before an election and your CONFIDENCE after the election.

DOCTOR: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Nigerians get bad mouth! -Proof attached (Photos)

Pictured below is Fashion publicist Richard Akuson, one of Cosmopolitan Nigeria’s ‘Top 8 Nigerian Fashion Power Brokers of 2016 along with what he wore to the Africa Magic Viewers Choice Awards yesterday.

Also below are the comments and reactions from Nigerians who believe he looked like a whistle blower for the event. lol.

More Comments

Another Nigerian Pranks His Wife Claims He Impregnated Another Woman, See how the wife reacted (Photos)

So it looks like this is about to become a trend and it’s not even April 1st yet! We had earlier on cracked our ribs over the reaction of a Nigerian mother after her son pranked her on Whatsapp, like that wasn’t enough, another lady did the same and we were really touched.

Now another Nigerian guy, who this time, not pranked his mother but his WIFE! His WIFE yo! shared the conversation on Palm chat.

See the Chat below

The type of wife many pray for.